Apologies to Dashiell Hammett

So many bloggers are writing books… So I did too!

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Buffalo Tom Peabody, Private Eye: “Finger Of Doom!”
I will bring it to you, serialized, just as it’s published in my magazine, Detective Fiction!
Chapter One:

The Santa Ana winds blew through the city of Los Angeles like a hot bean burrito fart… Something dangerous was definitely in the air! I repositioned the clothespin on my nose.
I hadn’t worked on a case in over a month… When SHE sauntered into my office wearing a tight-knit sweater that jiggled like the San Andreas Fault… Her skirt was so tight I could tell she had a quarter and two dimes in her hip pocket…
“Would you like a bite of my bean burrito?” I said casually.
“You must help me! Someone is trying to kill me!” she shouted in a high squeaky voice that sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard.
” Hold it Toots.” I said, “Have a Tequila Sunrise, maybe that will kill the bug up your butt.”
“How did you know my name was Toots?” she said in a voice that could shatter glass.

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That’s the first installment of “Finger Of Doom!”
Stay tuned!
Toodles!
Sincerely Yours,
Buffalo Tom Peabody, 3rd grade class president and author!

The 9 LivesOf Buffalo Tom Peabody

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8 thoughts on “Apologies to Dashiell Hammett

  1. Great stuff! You captured the early-mid 20th Century detective novel brilliantly. I absolutely loved the line “How did you know my name was Toots”!
    Can’t wait for part two 🙂

      • This was just right! I love this sort of humour, poking fun at particular genres or popular TV shows and so on.
        And the pictures you put with it were great!

      • That really makes me feel better! Because of my lousy eyesight, I cannot work from notes, so I hope I can get this story out of my head… In a way that makes some sense. 🙂

    • Lol! I know that feeling well… Because of the way blogs are laid out… Most recent first, I always end up reading everything backwards. With TTS I have to read it before I can sort it out or put it in any kind of order. My blog is so absurd and Nincompoopy, I don’t know how anybody makes any sense of any of it. At any rate, no one can accuse me of false advertising! I’ve always said I was a big nincompoop. 🙂

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