Fancy Brainstone Reveals All

“What’s the matter, haven’t you seen a pretty girl before?” demanded Fancy Brainstone in court today.


Dateline: Tallahassee, Florida
Undercover Cop, Detective Gunther Tootie reporting:

Fancy (pronounced Fauncey) Brainstone entered the following photographs into evidence today … In a feeble attempt to rehabilitate her sagging image in the eyes of the jury…


“It’s difficult to believe that Fancy was 8 months pregnant in these photos” said District Attorney Florian Burnem. “Shame! Shame! Shame! If you think these photos are bad you should see what she has posted on her Facebook account! It’s pure pornography!”


When shown this photograph,Β  a female juror whispered, “The stripes are a very bad idea.”


“I think she looks like a demented female-alien-wasp-type wrestler with a botched boob job!” said Buffalo Tom Peabody of the spectacle he witnessed in court today.
“I wouldn’t wanna fight her!” said Baby Dozy Mosley!


Fancy made loud “kissing” and “sighing” noises every time one of her photographs appeared on the courtroom monitor…
Chauncey Brainstone, Fancy’s only known surviving son, couldn’t be reached for comment…even though he recently threatened to “blow out my pilot light”…


Namaste! (That’s Yogi for Toodles!)
Detective Gunther Tootie, Undercover Cop and 3rd grader (Honor Roll)

The 9 Lives Of Buffalo Tom Peabody & Gunther Tootie


9 thoughts on “Fancy Brainstone Reveals All

  1. Fancy is lying thru her headlights. Chauncey is missing for a reason. I’ll bet he’s been chewed up by a gator baby in that there swamp!

    Poor Baby Dozy is too small to defend himself. Please ask Gunther to dedicate a couple nannies for 24/7 care.

    • Baby Dozy has a very droll sense of humor, we have really enjoyed having him around. Since me and Gunther don’t provide transportation to our contest winners, Dozy is from right here in our town so we’re thinking about putting him on permanently.
      It’s really hard to keep track of Chauncey since everyone runs away when they see him. Gunther has several of his men tailing Chauncey at all times. Chauncey is still wanted for a bizarre string of unsolved crimes. Chauncey told Gunther he wants to be referred to as Sir Chauncey Brainstone in future . So, as you can see, he’s also nuts.

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